Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Cootie Pie

My Family Crest As there is not one single villain worthy of defeat or organization deserving of covert abolition on this planet, I've decided that my talents must be put to use or risk atrophy. Therefore, I have decided to snuff out certain unpleasantnesses that have apparently been given a hall pass by your society as far as continued existence is concerned.


I hope that I'm not forgetting anything.

I speak of course of cooties, the common cold, fast food, reality TV, mosquitoes, Pi, pie, bedbugs, 4 p.m. meetings, 8 a.m. meetings, something referred to as Diffy Queue, the Boogyman, The Man, people that turn, face down, the photos of other people's infants, Golden Skulltullas, the squeaky wheel, spam, telemarketers and licorice. I will begin with cooties.

How insidious is a thing that stalks children? If this evil chose to afflict either infancy or adolescence, then at least ignorance (in the case of the former) or apathy (in the case of the latter) would deal with it in time. No, it only concerns itself with your offspring aged 5-12. How vulgar!

Bug Spray
He's even giving a gang symbol!

Hopefully, it will take me more than a week to address all of these issues.
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1 Discourse(s):

Blogger Draing declared...

Nice list. Is cleaning out the fridge a this-week-thing or next week?

6:37 AM  

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