Thursday, February 23, 2006

Sick Daze

My Family Crest I must apologize for my lack of presence lately, as I have been under the weather as you Earth people call it. Although, to approximate the suffering I've endured these last hellish 48 hours, the weather would have to consist of exploding toilets dropping out of the sky... onto the backs of your eyeballs. Waterbottle
I'm down with the sickness

As most invading extra-terrestrials are wont to do, I have neglected your planet's greatest defense against outer-worldly invaders. No, this defense is not your average sitcom, it's your copious stockpile of disease. Every orifice in my body is only now slowly recouperating from 2 days of misuse. That is, organs designed for input were most viciously utilized in a outputian fashion.

As not to succumb to my forebearer's fates, I needed to study the best countermeasures to these incursions. My now-patented Influenza Bug Annihilation/Resuscitation Formula was the result. You take 3 gallons of chicken noodle soup, add 2 boxes of saltine crackers, 3 cans of white soda and a dollup of Vick's Vapo-rub. Chickity China
It's the other white meat.

One can injest the potable upon each span of 6 hours or in the case of slumber-sleepery times, you can simply rub some upon your chest for inhalation purposes. If one continues to complain about their health condition after imbibing this concoction, then I submit that they probably have larger issues with which to contend.
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2 Discourse(s):

Anonymous Anonymous declared...

Did you know you can get that soup in dry packet form now?

7:35 AM  
Blogger Eemos declared...

I did not know this! What brigand has stolen, manufactured and marketed my sickness salve without my knowledge! Larceny!

8:33 AM  

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