Wednesday, February 15, 2006

My Language, My Prey

My Family Crest You may be wondering where I attained my profound grasp of your somewhat perplexing, EEengaleeshhh. I studied every language on your planet; yes, every single one, and I found this English to be most like my native tongue, Badaslic. You'd be astonished at the number of cognates. Both are confounding in their complexities and dank in their reason. Should I use "their?" Or perchance, "they're?" Or what about, "Asthereagus?" (a large boar-like creature native to my country)
Unique, non?
My country's banner

I very nearly chose français. Its total disregard for the ratio between letters and sounds is very pleasing to me. Only a scion of the linguistic arts could ever hope to master its undulating syllables, much less actually articulate correctly enough for a French person to forget to feign his or her total inability to understand you. And while, I was obviously up to the challenge, there was a certain je ne sais quois about English. Therein lies something barbaric, perhaps.

So, dear reader, I chose to study, stalk, hunt, borrow $3.50 from, kill, emasculate and ultimately field dress your quaint little language. Bonne chance!
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